ONLY IN NEW YORK

GROWING UP WITH THREE BROTHERS

It was early on Sunday morning. John and I were rushing around the house to get ready to spend the day in NYC to celebrate my brother's 30th birthday. I stopped for a minute and reflected on growing up with my brothers in the suburbs of Chicago.

For whatever reason, I thought about all of the gross things we did when growing up. You know, the disgusting "bachelor/fraternity house/men living with men" things that happen when growing up with three brothers.

Here a few of the nasty things we/I did while growing up:

• Drank milk straight out of the milk carton, ate ice cream out of the container, etc.
• My one brother wore my Calvin Klein boxer briefs - he only liked my designer underwear.
• When playing sports - the occasional snot rocket was very acceptable!
• Hock a "luggie" spitting contest anyone?
• I admit to borrowing a toothbrush (something I did in college to my friend Margot - she most appropriately flipped out and proceeded to boil it to get my germs off it).
• We had one laundry basket of white tube socks that we all shared - the socks hardly ever matched up, usually had holes or were light brown from walking outside with no shoes.
• I can still remember the rank smell of my gym clothes - it's a smell I'll never forget!
• Drank water out of the bathroom sink - mouth to faucet.
• Shared bath towels - pretty much all of our bathroom supplies were up for grabs.
• Changed sheets and pillow cases - um - well - not that often - super gross!
• Someone's curly hairs on a bar of soap - yep - not an image that makes one smile!
• I always chewed my food and asked my brothers what it looked like - good times :)

Yes, I was a weird kid and it had a lot to do with living with all men...my poor mother! We even had a male dog.

BUT, I would never change a minute of it - I love all of my brothers and my parents. They all played an important role in making me who I am today - and for that, I am eternally grateful to each of them!

SLATZ BROTHERS IN LONDON

KEG STAND CONGRATS TO BROTHER SCOTT!

SCOTT'S KEG STAND STORY

I shared a great moment in my brother's life on July 4th while attending our friend's party - he did his first ever keg stand!

I was talking to this straight guy who was a friend of my friend's roommate at a party in Lincoln Park. The conversation went round and round and I'm not sure what we were exactly talking about but I know were were agreeing on all points of the subject matter when he awkwardly walked away. I clearly remember him saying he needed to go to the bathroom while I was in mid-sentence and watched him quickly walk over and hug his girlfriend.

I was either too drunk to deal with or he thought I was hitting on him - either way - before I could process what happened my brother Scott yelled to me, "Watch, I'm doing my first keg stand!"

We were pretty hammered at this point as he was rapidly drinking vodka and sodas (a.k.a. "skinny bitches") and I downed a bottle of pinot noir in a little over an hour.

Scott sucked the keg like a champ - going for a good amount of time! Parts of the party were amused and clapped loudly, others looked like they had time warped back to college and weren't too excited about the adventure.

Like a proud parent watching his child do something spectacular - mastering the first cartwheel or bowling a first strike - I took out my iPhone and captured his triumphant feat!

This was one of Scott's 30 things he wants to accomplish before he turns 30 in January. I'm glad I was there to memorialize it - way to go Scott - I look forward to experiencing more "firsts" throughout the year!

KEG STAND MEMORIES

We both went to college in the Midwest as Scott attended University of Illinois and I went to Northern Illinois University. We both partied hard and did well in school. The big question is, how did he graduate college without doing a keg stand? I accomplished this "beer drinking right of passage" before I went to college at a kegger in high school - which might have been in my parents house while they were on vacation, but I'm not quite sure.

I do clearly remember doing a keg stand in my first college apartment, downing so much cheap beer I couldn't handle it all and ran to the bathroom to puke my brains out. Of course it was occupied by some slow girl and I ended up puking through my nose on the carpet outside my bathroom door.

The girl left the bathroom moments later and she wasn't shocked at the outcome - me covered in vomit. She said, "I tried to pee fast because I knew someone was about to commit alcohol abuse."

Those were the good ole' days!

PHOENIX CONCERT - HOTNESS EVERYWHERE - I'M OFFICIALLY OLD

My facebook status, June 14:
KSLATZ saw the band Phoenix last night at the Park West theatre. What an amazing show...I'm now a big fan. Also very thankful my brother Scott chose me for his extra ticket. We stood next to a speaker and all I could think of was hearing loss...I'm officially an old man!


THE PHOENIX

My brother offered me a ticket to see the Phoenix when I was in Chicago a few weeks ago. At first I turned down the ticket since John and I had planned to go to an Andersonville neighborhood festival but when John decided to relax in the hotel instead of going out, I took my brother up on his offer.

My friend Dave burned a CD of their album United for me a while back and told me I would love their sound - a mix of The Killers and The Bravery. My favorite song from this album ended up being "If I ever feel better." I remember enjoying listening to them in the past but I knew nothing in great detail about the band or their new album.

The concert ended up being awesome! They were high energy throughout the show, the crowd sang along to almost every song and there was a very sweet dance vibe flowing throughout the theatre. Since I was familiar with their sound from the previous album, it was easy for me to get into their new songs.

I told my buddy Dave I went to the show and he emailed me mp3 files of the current album - which I didn't know you could even do - so now I have all of the new songs in my iTunes account. I've been listening to the album at the gym ever since show and now I'm a big fan of Phoenix!

MALE HOTNESS EXUDING EVERYWHERE

We were standing around an amazingly attractive crowd that night at the Park West Theatre. There was male hotness exuding everywhere! Being surrounded by 360 degrees of hottie boom body straight dudes can be hard (or make you hard), especially since you can only look - no touching! After all I really love my boyfriend (sweetie, I didn't touch, I swear) and they all seemed very straight. They weren't frat boy cute or sports jock hot - these were stylish men with built physiques and chiseled good looks.  

These hot dudes all had cute girlfriends dancing with them. My straight guy friends would have loved their girlfriends - so either way, the eye candy contributed to the fun of the evening - no harm in that!

I'M OFFICIALLY AN OLD MAN

This was a sold out show and we stood to the side of the stage about ten people deep, next to the speakers that were mounted up to the ceiling. For some unknown reason, all I could think about was the hearing loss I would receive after the show because of where we were standing.

It was one of those thoughts that you have on your mind and you can't let it go. Maybe it's because I have several friends who are audiologists/speech pathologists or maybe it was because I was very sober that night - for whatever reason, I kept thinking about not being about to hear people later in life.

I even contemplated jetting mid-concert. My brother's friend, who got us the tickets at face value, was standing next to us and I didn't want to make it look like I was having a bad time, I was clearly enjoying the show, just the idea of forever losing my hearing kept running through my head.

I then looked out at the young hotness all around me, straight dudes dancing (which makes me smirk just thinking about it) and singing along to all of the songs. I smiled and had this revelation/conversation with myself:

Kevin, you're acting like an old man...the oldest fart in the theatre! What's happening, how did you get here? You're in your early 30's and this type of behavior isn't suppose to happen this soon in life. yes, your hearing is clearly very important, but you're at a concert, this spot was chosen, you are enjoying the music - JUST lighten up!

IN THE END... 

I ended up enjoying every last second at the show! The final song was really cool, the lead singer walked through the crowd and sang the last verse in the middle of his sweaty dancing fans - it was really well timed and super cool to watch! 

I have now decided in order to have a good time at a concert I need to bring ear plugs or stand far away from the speakers. This is because I'm old enough to know better, no matter how old that makes me!

The energy in the room from this body-rocking band, the hotness surrounding us, being in Chicago on a warm summer night...I'm just lucky to be out and about enjoying life - no matter hot "old" I am!