Thursday, September 18, 2008
THAT SANTA CLAUS IS TOO SKINNY
I was at a store yesterday buying a gift and the sales person put it into a box with tissue paper. He said, "I will now attempt to put ribbon on the box to finish it off." I watched him struggle through a few attempts and told him I have the skills to make that ribbon work.
I proceeded to add a beautiful bow to the box while I told the guy about the year I wrapped Christmas gifts at my hometown mall (Stratford Square). Then I remembered my short stint as Santa Claus.
Beanstalk, beanpole, or whatever you want to deem it, I was tall and skinny in high school. When I was asked to play Santa at the mall I only had dollars signs in my eyes. Whatever the pay was, it was more than wrapping the presents and being an elf, so agreed to the gig.
After a few weeks as a substitute Santa it all ended when a mom whispered in my ear, "I just waited in line for over an hour to see your skinny ass? You aren't even close to looking like him!" Well, she was an angry nasty pants, but she was right. This was my end of playing the jolly old man. I can still remember the bobby pins stuck in my head to keep the wig and hat on and the smell of the Lysol sprayed since it was a sweaty borrowed suit - gross!
BY THE WAY...the photo above was from a Skinny Santa I saw in Italy last holiday season.