RECOVERING FROM CATHOLICISM

The recent reports out of the Vatican resurface the bitterness and irksome feelings I have toward the Catholic Church.

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From Huffingtonpost.com:

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone this week linked homosexuality and pedophilia, and implicitly blamed gay priests for sexual abuse. This came in the midst of the gravest crisis to face the Church in the last 100 years: the rising tide of revelations of the crimes of sexual abuse of children, primarily boys and adolescent males.

In a news conference in Chile, Cardinal Bertone, the Vatican's Secretary of State, said, "Many psychologists and psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relation between celibacy and pedophilia." They do believe, however, "that there is a relation between homosexuality and pedophilia," he said. "That is true. ... That is the problem."

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Being gay does not make one a pedophile - this should be clear to any rational and educated person. Betrone's comments are made to shed light on the numerous accounts of sexual abuse the church has been ignoring for too many years. Placing blame on the gay community is an easy scapegoat, especially since the Vatican has never really supported the gay community.

The Vatican/Catholic church officials don’t hate gay people, they hire them as priests. They don't believe in allowing gays to marry, in fact they financially support political groups who believe marriage should only be between heterosexuals.

Now the Vatican's Secretary of State is blaming the numerous accounts of sexual abuse they have been sweeping under the rug for decades on the homosexuals they've employed as leaders of the church.

Contradictions, lies, fallacies, damaged children and partridge in a pear tree...Why are people Catholic again? Why does my dad give a portion of his well-earned pay check to fund a house of worship that treats his gay children like second class citizens, allows priests to potentially molest his grandchildren and steal money right out of his wallet? (The last part is in reference to a priest at my dad's church who stole a great deal of parishioner money to support his gambling addiction - after apologizing for his actions he was moved to another parish.)

I attended Catholic grade school, was an altar boy, a leader within my youth group, volunteered as a Eucharistic minister and my parents paid for me to go on a bus trip from Illinois to Colorado to see the Pope. I was raised VERY CATHOLIC.

I had nothing but great experiences with my church while growing up – I still have many great memories of community, friendships, education and family.

Today, when all of the cards are stacked against me as a gay man and watching all of the political and hurtful shenanigans rolling out within the leaders in the Vatican, this once happy place quickly became a big ugly sham. I was a good Catholic boy and now I’m a good gay recovering Catholic man.

With the blinding light being shed on these sexual abuse scandals, what's the call to action for the Catholic Church? What is the Vatican going to do differently to solve these glaring problems?

When the shit hits the fan you look at the men on top – the leaders - to find a common sense solution or at least a game plan to resolve everything. Unfortunately all I currently see is a bunch of the same lies, erroneous blame, cover-ups and looking the other way.

CINDY MCCAIN STANDS UP TO H8!

Huffingtonpost.com reported today:
"On Wednesday, the NOH8 campaign protesting California's Proposition 8 announced a new high-profile Republican supporter: John McCain's wife, Cindy McCain. NOH8 is a photo project in which subjects are photographed wearing white, against a white background, with their mouths taped shut and "NOH8" painted on their faces.

This story doesn't really shock me as I knew her daughter Meghan was in favor of gay marriage. What shocks me is the plastic looking photo - she looks like an alien! Photoshop gone wrong or too much plastic surgery - either way Cindy looks very unhuman!

BAND TOGETHER AND FIGHT FOR EQUALITY - HOME AND ABROAD

THE STORY

While spending time in Chicago over the Christmas holiday a close gay friend of mine told me about his new job. He said, "One of the other guys in my office is extremely gay," followed with an impression of a stereotypical gay man's "womanly voice."

A chorus of laughs erupted from the other people listening to the story. Another friend said, "Oh, you mean he's a momma's boy," followed by another round of laughs.

Later in the trip I involved myself in a debate on gay marriage. My friend lived in London and he mentioned that British gays laugh at American gays because they believe we need to get over the word "marriage" and deal with "civil union."

I told him that I firmly believe in the stance given Portia De Rossi on The View. Here’s the interaction between De Rossi and Elizabeth Hasselbeck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lNeE4QEVSw

"Take men and women. Women want all the rights of men, but they're not asking to be called men," Hasselbeck said. "Do you think...is the word [marriage] more important than the rights?"

"No, of course the word isn't more important than the rights," De Rossi responded. "Without the word, we don't have equal rights."

DeRossi then hit it right on the money with the following comment:

"Every citizen of this country should have that legal right to be married. Marriage, the word, actually does mean something because people who see a gay coupling as a lesser thing in society can continue to [think] it's lesser than marriage when really it's the exact same thing. [It’s] the exact same love, the exact same commitment, love of family."

click here for video

DECIPHERING IT ALL

I woke up in the early hours of Christmas morning – laying on an air mattress in the bedroom I grew up in - reflecting on the aforementioned conversations.

I clearly remember the jabs my high school buddies and I would trade with each other - redneck, Guido, Pollock, gay, etc. I participated and/or laughed at many of our attempts at hilarity which I now equate to childish and immature trash talk that really wasn’t meant to be harmful.

But when I hear these remarks now, as I stand older, wiser and in a country that still hasn't afforded me equal rights, I find this behavior to be disheartening. Moreover, blatant discrimination within a minority group - my minority group - lights a blazing fire within me I've found hard to extinguish.

DEATH PENALTY FOR GAYS IN UGANDA

As I complain about the unfair equality issues in U.S., reports are released about proposed legislation that would impose the death penalty for gay Ugandans, and their family and friends could face up to seven years in jail.

This proposed "gay genocide" challenges gay Ugandans - stop being who you are as a human being or be put to death. Family and friends will need to choose between love for another human and their quality of life.

CONCLUSION

It's hard to fathom oppression of this magnitude with what I'm afforded as a gay American. With strong people like De Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres, I believe our country is making steps towards equality.

The proposed gay genocide in Uganda shows how far the LGBT people around the world need to go for not only LGBT equal rights - but human rights!

We need to band together and fight for equality - at home and abroad - and not participate in senseless remarks that bring our people down – there’s enough of that horrible behavior out there already!

WHAT I LOVE THIS WEEK!

"I am here today because of a conversation I had last June when I was voting. A woman at my polling place asked me, "Do you believe in equal, equality for gay and lesbian people?" I was pretty surprised to be asked a question like that. It made no sense to me. Finally I asked her, "What do you think our boys fought for at Omaha Beach?" I haven't seen much, so much blood and guts, so much suffering, much sacrifice. For what? For freedom and equality. These are the values that give America a great nation, one worth dying for."

--Philip Spooner, 86 years old, lifetime Republican, World War II veteran and gay marriage supporter.

I wish more Philip Spooner's would stand up and speak their mind!

WHAT I LOVE THIS WEEK!

"CONFUSED CHILDREN" USED BY THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR MARRIAGE

The advertisement above is appalling! This is a similar tactic that was used in passing Proposition 8 in California where this same National Organization for Marriage ran similar ads that worried people about mandatory education in schools that "promoted homosexuality" to their children.

I believe we should be honest with our children and let them know that there is a smaller percentage of children in this country that have two mommies or two daddies instead of the heterosexual model they are accustomed to. When old enough to be taught sex education, there should be a part of the curriculum that explains homosexual sex so it isn't looked at as an evil or shameful practice.

In order to fix many of the civil rights problems the LGBT community is currently facing we need to provide appropriate education to our youth on what homosexuality really is. Educating children on this subject matter should be the same as teaching kids about other cultures and religious differences in the world. There are still places in the country where kids are being beat up, bullied and harassed for just being who they are because of the cryptic messages they are being taught at school and home. I hear these horrible stories all the time and it just breaks my heart.

This maybe too progressive of an idea for heterosexual couples to digest. Why should they have to explain to their children this type of behavior when they are hoping that their children don't turn out to be gay? I understand homosexuality is looked down upon by many religious organizations and is taught as a "bad behavior" through generations of families.

The simple answer is we are a humane society that is founded on our civil liberties for all Americans! In order to provide those equal liberties to this minority group, we need to stop the hatred and the secrecy with the youth in this country from the START - we need to have an open and honest dialogue from the beginning and believe that this will change this negative idea of being gay in America.

Homosexuality is not wrong and people shouldn't be looked down at for being who they are born to be.

The gays are not going away and I have faith that this generation will work endlessly to solve issues surrounding LGBT rights that are being infringed upon.

Which side of history do you want to be on with this issue?

HOMO SAY WHAT? REPUBLICAN'S SUGGEST DROPPING OPPOSITION TO SAME SEX MARRIAGE

WASHINGTON (CNN) - Steve Schmidt, a key architect of John McCain's presidential campaign, is making his first public return to Washington a bold one.

Schmidt will use a speech Friday to Log Cabin Republicans, a gay rights group, to urge conservative Republicans to drop their opposition to same-sex marriage, CNN has learned.

"There is a sound conservative argument to be made for same-sex marriage," Schmidt will say, according to speech excerpts obtained by CNN. "I believe conservatives, more than liberals, insist that rights come with responsibilities. No other exercise of one's liberty comes with greater responsibilities than marriage."

Schmidt makes both policy and political arguments for a Republican embrace of same-sex marriage.

On the policy front, Schmidt likens the fight for gay rights to civil rights and women's rights, and he admonishes conservatives who argue for the protection of the unborn as a God-given right, but against protections for same-sex couples.

"It cannot be argued that marriage between people of the same sex is un American or threatens the rights of others," he says in the speech. "On the contrary, it seems to me that denying two consenting adults of the same sex the right to form a lawful union that is protected and respected by the state denies them two of the most basic natural rights affirmed in the preamble of our Declaration of Independence — liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Politically, he will say that becoming more open and accepting is critical to reversing an alarming trend for Republicans — a shrinking coalition. He will note that Republicans should be especially concerned that McCain got crushed by Barack Obama among voters under 30, who are generally more accepting of gay couples and at odds with the GOP.

Read the full CNN story, click here

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This maybe the smartest thing the Republican Party has suggested in a VERY long time. They are losing voters under 30 and the face of the party is Rush Limbaugh...with those apples, it looks like they need a big agenda reform in order to compete in the next general election. Taking a progressive stance on this issue puts them inside today's world instead of fumbling around with old world morals and ideals.

I saw an interview with Judge Judy the other day on a morning talk show. She believes once the "older generation" dies off, the whole idea of gay marriage will be settled because it isn't the 30 and under generation who has issue with same sex marriage, it is the older conservatives who are holding back the progression. Simply, they were raised with the religious idea that homosexuality is wrong and they shouldn't support anything that involves this type of "deviant behavior."

What I hope we (and when I say "we" I mean the LGBT community and its supporters) can stand up and say, we want this now, not when all you old folks die off. This issue is just as important as blacks and women getting their equal civil rights. And it is funny that those two groups are some of the many who now look down on same sex marriage. Having equal rights in healthcare, hospital visitation, money sharing, etc. is a right of a heterosexual world - thus discriminating against the homosexual community.

I'm not sure what it will take to get this type of legislation passed, I just want to take part in getting it finally resolved. I welcome ideas on how to unite those who are with me on this issue!

WATCH THIS VIDEO AND TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SUBJECT MATTER...

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo

GAYS AROUND THE COUNTRY STAND UP FOR CIVIL RIGHTS

Across the country gays gathered to protest the right to marry AND the religious right want to battle.

Last night at dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant Poesia in the Castro neighborhood we heard a lot of commotion outside. The owner of the restaurant came over and told us that there were a group of Mormons praying for the gays at the major intersection of this famous gay neighborhood. After dinner we met up with some friends who told us that the gays in the hood were blowing whistles and yelling at these religious freaks to get out of the hood. At one point some of the gays bought some fabric from the store along the strip and circled the Christians so no one could see them. TV crews came to the scene quickly, there was more cops than pedestrians once we made it onto the scene.

This whole thing has blown up because our government can't decide on whether we should be governed by the bible or not. I thought we lived by the constitution not by the morals of others religious beliefs. I hope these peaceful protests open people's eyes throughout the country! Equality for all! Gay, straight, black, white; marriage is a civil right. That's right, a civil right!

I AM A GAY AMERICAN: WHY IS MY COUNTRY DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ME?

Melissa Etheridge is furious over California's rejection of gay marriage. She is so mad that she has said she will withhold her state taxes!

Etheridge, married five years to actress Tammy Lynn Michaels, posted a blog about Prop 8 passing, which limits marriage to heterosexual couples.

"I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen," Etheridge wrote at thedailybeast.com. "I mean, that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights." She also said that this idea should extend to other gay Californians, "I am sure Ellen [DeGeneres] will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too." [Associated Press]

Right on Melissa! There is nothing like an angry lesbian taking a stand for something she believes in!

I have been very upset with the result of Proposition 8 here in California and the right for people to marry being taken away in Florida and Arizona. Throughout the last few days I have been going round and round with ideas on how to open my fellow American's eyes, not only in California, but everywhere in this country. This discrimination is apparently acceptable in our country, which is ironic since we celebrate so many other freedoms.

When I was living in Chicago and had not experienced love with another man - I believed gay marriage wasn't an issue. I decided that marriage is a bad heterosexual practice and why would our community even want to be married since they most often end in divorce court. But as I have grown up and have fallen madly in love with my partner and have had the opportunity to attend several commitment ceremonies in the last several months, I realize the injustice in this legislation and feel the need to stand up and fight for the right of my community!

It took monumental moments in American history to give blacks the same rights as their fellow citizens. It took too many years to give women the right to vote. What is it going to take to allow all of the unalienable rights straight people enjoy to be passed along to homosexuals?

Religion is used, once again, as a crutch in this argument. In the Bible it states that marriage is between one man and one woman. I get that, clear as day. But doesn't it also say that woman should be subservient to their man? Why do Christians get to pick and choose which Bible passages should be enforced? I also thought we were living in a country that separates church and state. Is this not a clear example of where people are being governed by religious morality?

In commercials throughout California during the many weeks leading up to the election, the group leading the way to limit marriage to only heterosexuals, used blatant lies to scare citizens into voting to end the right for homosexuals to marry. The major angle they used was the incorrect notion that schools would be required to teach students about gay marriage and churches and religious schools that didn’t follow these rules would not receive government funding. The fact is, and the head of schools in the state even said this on record, schools are not required to discuss gay marriage in the class room. But if you really think about this, shouldn't this type of marriage be discussed like any other marriage anyway? Especially when little Danny has two butch moms and Roxie has two handsome dads? I just don't see the justification to make this issue what you would take someone’s rights away from them.

This is a similar tactic used in the Presidential election when McCain's supporters were telling people Obama is a Muslim. Colin Powell said, “So what if is he is a Muslim?” He is a Christian. But what if he was a Muslim? What if a teacher discussed gay marriage in schools, is it really a bad thing to appropriately discuss sexual orientation in schools?

I am going to start a church (think scientology for gays, um wait, Scientology is for gays right?!?!) and gain a huge following to join me to punish all of the straight white men because they are the sons of the devil due to their involvement in the current banking scandals in our country. As the leader of this peaceful gay religious American group, I decide to propose a proposition to punish these individuals, essentially ending their rights to marry a woman so they don't procreate - because I believe no one wants more banking weasels in our country. If we stop them from getting married they won't have children because people don't have illegitimate children in our country these days, right? I then pool together millions of dollars in advertising from the church (gays do have a lot of expendable income you know) to persuade the majority of California to vote to make this happen. Our proposition is passed and all white men are not allowed to marry, the government will take away all marriage tax breaks and all other marriage rights just for the white man.

A far fetched scenario, I know, but these are the cards my community was just dealt. One week we are allowed to marry and the next it is taken away from us. And why is this happening? Because your church doesn’t believe I should be able to have sex with another man? This is absolutely ludicrous.

This whole situation truly is a mockery of what our government stands for. It makes no sense for our elected leaders, Barack Obama and Joe Biden included, to stand for such bigotry and to allow this to happen. I agree with Etheridge, why should we have to pay our taxes when we don't have the same rights as our fellow Americans?

Speaking of a great strong lesbian leader, when are we going to find a male gay leader to join Etheridge and lead our community in the revolt of such hatred against our people? Who is our community’s Martin Luther King? Please stand up! Or maybe I need to start a revolution myself and get this taken care!

Many of the cards are stacked against us. It is hard to convince an older generation that the religious morals they were raised to believe in for so many years is completely wrong. By now you would think they would know that homosexuality isn't wrong and that I was born gay, it wasn't a choice.

I am proud to be a gay American man. I don't throw it in everyone’s face when I meet them because it is only one part of me, one part of many diverse things about me. I also realize I have been very lucky to have been raised a white male in this country. Once I came to terms with being gay I now know what it is like to be a minority. I have been blessed to have other gay role models on TV and movies that I can relate to and help me in being proud of who I am. I just hope that younger generations will feel the same hope and pride that I feel and I believe this right to marry will help them feel like they do have opportunities and unalienable rights as a gay American.

One way to tackle this problem is to get to the younger gay generation involved. Have them join in on ending this discrimination, fight for their right for their future relationships. I know many of the younger heterosexual generation don’t care if their friend is gay - in fact maybe it is even cool to have a gay friend. The answer might be to work with the younger generation and get them in on the fight to end this bigotry and eventually put an end to this nonsense and help our community evolve as people.

I truly believe with our younger generation being more comfortable with their sexuality, this will eventually become a non issue. But isn't there an opportunity now to step up and make sure this happens sooner rather than later. Confirm with these young influential Americans that rights to marry whoever you choose should be granted to everyone no matter what their orientation is. I feel like the gay community is on the cusp of CHANGE and giving HOPE to our entire community.

I do wish the man who has given me HOPE and CHANGE throughout this election cycle was on my community’s side in this movement! I know he has A LOT on his plate, but a large part of the country he governs is being blatantly discriminated against and their rights are just as important as the rest of the people.

I am a gay American. Why is my country discriminating against my right to marry?

PROP 8 WINS IN CALIFORNIA - WTF!

I could go on for a good 300 words on why this is so unfair - too bad I'm not feeling like it...I have a lot to say. Like, how could one of the most liberal states of this country discriminate people because of their orientation? I'm also shocked to hear that 70% of African Americans voted in favor of this proposition that is taking away my right to marry and all of the benefits of marriage. Shocking! I will write more when I feel up to it, right now I am too sick to my stomach.