PHILADELPHIA SQUIRRELS ARE JUST AS NASTY AS ITS FEMALE DRIVERS

Two separate stories, one decisive conclusion.

WEDNESDAY
I found this photography center that offers evening classes on photoshop, lighting, printing, etc. The website mentioned people can volunteer and receive a discount on classes. I sent over my resume a few weeks ago and I was asked to come in and meet the guy who runs the place - it's called Project Basho. John left work a little early so I could take the car to the meeting. I ran down stairs, kissed him goodbye, and rushed off to my appointment across town.

We live in the downtown area so the rush hour traffic was pretty harsh. Also, keep in mind, almost all of the streets are one way with beautiful-opulent-historic buildings ending at some of the main streets so you have to drive around them to get back onto the street you are on - which is annoying.

As I drove to the meeting I saw a white compact car in front of me with its hazard lights on, parked slightly in my lane and slightly in a parking spot on the left side of this one way street. I looked behind me and the car to my right was far enough behind that I could slide over a little into that lane and get through. The car behind me, driven by an angry east coast woman, blew her horn in a very angry and aggressive way and raced past me. I guess she was upset because I was slightly in her lane for maybe half a second. I just shook my head and thought she was nuckin futs.

As she sped in front of me the car in front of her threw its hazard lights on and came to a slow stop so she needed to get into my lane. Of course, being the bastard I am, I slowed down and boxed her in. I'm driving the Jeep and she was in a compact car, so I was literally starring down at her, watching her blow her horn, yell to herself in frustration and continuously slamming her hands on her steering wheel. The whole time she never looked at me. I watched - for one minute max - laughing at her road rage - caged in like the misbehaved little animal she was acting like. Something I'll never forget, a face I'll always remember; she was soooo mad!

THURSDAY
The very exciting thing to do on my adventures of being a "lady of leisure" is taking the girls out for their daily walk through the Rittenhouse Square Park, which is two blocks over. The girls misbehave all the time, running after everything ranging from birds to an empty bag of popcorn blowing in the wind. They also love to bark at the many squirrels in the park - as we never really saw too many squirrels in San Francisco, so these are new creatures for them.

DeRosa ran after this one squirrel in particular who didn't run away, it kept coming towards her. It usually works this way: the girls bark at a squirrel and lunge at it like they are going to have it for an afternoon snack; I pull them back and yell, QUIET! or NO! or KNOCK IT OFF! and the little squirrel runs up the tree for safety.

This bold squirrel wasn't scarred of my little pups, it had this superior east coast swagger that wasn't going to be ruffled by my little pups. When the girls barked, the squirrel got closer and closer to them instead of running up the tree for safety. I stopped and thought, is that mother-nuttin squirrel going to take on DeRosa?

I had this fleeting thought that maybe the squirrel would win. Does it make me a bad dog owner to think about a squirrel and my dog going into a cage match and thinking my dog would have her ass handed to her by the squirrel? I mean, Doris would kill it in a second, hands down, but DeRosa is such a little puss puss, she is all bark and no bite. I seriously hope we never see a fight like this, but the cage match thought has come across my mind a few times since this incident.

CONCLUSION
Philadelphia's squirrels are just as nasty as its female drivers!